Wisps of whispers…

cotton candy pink sails in a sea of blue…


Can you feel it on certain days? Spring inches ever closer, and I can’t think of many who don’t welcome her balmy embrace. The snowdrops have their green stems poking out of the soil, asking if it’s time to show up. I told them to sleep a bit longer; a freeze was coming our way. They aren’t listening. Spring’s impatience tugs at them and me.

Spring and love seem to go together, and Valentine’s Day is making her rounds, so I heard. The local grocer has so many floral arrangements, I feel like I’m in a summer garden, lush and fragrant, and since the flowers perch next to a Starbucks, I am in heaven every time I need a tea. So this begs the question. What to do on the day of love?

real flowers gracing a rough wooden table…

If you’re lucky enough to have love in your life, then the answers are easy. Send cards, give flowers, buy candy and catch the kisses cast in the air by those who love you back. But what if you’re tethered to a love who doesn’t think about flowers and candy? Talk about the upcoming holiday. Will we go out to eat? Yes? Will we spend a bunch of money on presents to show our affection? Not for me. Flowers and chocolate (and ice cold teas, please) are tokens of love. If you want something romantic, ask. Tell your love what you love. And give your love back, freely.

simply beautiful…

If you want something, sometimes you have to ask. Be specific. If you want a certain bottle of bourbon, ask. Hopefully, they just want to give you love wrapped in a box, tied with strings that might be attached, but then, those are the best kind. Don’t you want a string luring you toward your love? One Valentine’s Day, so very long ago, I brought six red and pink frosted cupcakes to a boyfriend’s apartment. He did not acknowledge my gift at all, rather he stood in his kitchen washing dishes. I had classes to attend, but he didn’t take my frugal (in college, on a tight budget) present. He didn’t tell me he loved me. I emotionally ate my way through two cupcakes.

a lovely new painting we bought recently, see, winter is beautiful (if you’re looking at it and not living in it:)…

And rather than make him notice me, I left the rest of the cupcakes and left him. That afternoon, another guy I had met and had been studying with since we had the same classes and major, sent me a beautiful arrangement of flowers! I found him and thanked him, and the man I married, has never forgotten a Valentine’s Day since that first one, and he still romances me with flowers and chocolate. And much more.

I decided the guy who paid attention to me, made me feel valuable, loved, and liked and appreciated was the man to go through this life with. What does this mean for you? The people or person who makes you feel valuable and important is the one. Love them. The good guy who loves you? And you think he’s beautiful? Him. Choose him. Choose love. Choose laughter, love and life.

aren’t real fires cozy? the warmth, the crackling logs are a part of our winter nights…

On Valentine’s Day, or anyway this week, if you want flowers and aren’t in a relationship at the moment, buy them for you. Pick out the candy you like and enjoy it. Light a candle and enjoy the beauty of being able to buy flowers in winter, and buying sweets. We are lucky. We are blessed. Wrap a blanket around you and enjoy your company. But the icing on the cake would be to make the day sweet for another human. Bake brownies. Send a card that you made with a note inside. We all want to be noticed and not ignored. It took years and that one Valentine’s Day for me to figure that out. I hope you have a week full of laughs, love and beauty. I have to finish my iced tea before the Grammy’s end! Until next Sunday…

light snow will be rain tomorrow…I’m not complaining one bit…

Candlelight and contentment…

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The winter days are almost as cold as the nights, and last night brought more snow than we’ve seen in two years, and while I like to hide away in the warmest nooks of our house, I do emerge. I must. My cats like to lie on the heat registers and sleep, but I can’t quite pull that off. I thought I needed a bit of April in the middle of January, so I brought home the prettiest bunch of flowers and surrounded them with my favorite votives.

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I’ve kept out the candles from our last dinner party and added a warm, cozy faux fur table runner. The faux fur is supremely soft, and I think it gives the table a wintery, cozy look.

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Candlelight visually warms me. I miss the glow of the lights on all my Christmas trees, but by the first week of January I’m ready for my home to take on its winter look. I bring out the warmest blankets, and my seasonal pillows usually match the hues of winter themselves; ivory, white, fawn and other soft browns. I open the windows to let in light during the day, but as soon as twilight steps in, the curtains are closed and I turn to my candles to add happiness to my day.

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Everyone has colors that make them happy and mine are greens and blues, and maybe I’ll get to the point where I decorate in those super summery hues. Until then, I find flowers that scream happiness to me. Okay, maybe that’s not the best word choice. Should I say the subtly whisper to me? I’m lucky enough to have a store with a large floral area, and the first thing I do is buy an iced tea, and then I wander through the flowers. These pinks and yellows are summery, and I’ll take it.

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I know I just told you about my stark winter home, but I need a pinch of summer to keep me going. My imagination takes me fairly far, even to the point where I can imagine the steady sounds of traffic at my mom’s house to be the sound of ocean surf, gently lapping at the shoreline. But in January, I’ll take my dose of happiness in reality, please. And so can you. How? When you barely have enough money after a delirious dose of holiday spending? When January has you choosing between beans and rice for dinner, again, or a bowl of cereal (takes me back to college…cheap and barely any dishes to wash)?

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I’ll tell you. Right when I enter Target they have a little area with deals for a dollar or so, and I find the best home decor there! Seasonal and inexpensive. And then I scour the clearance at Kohl’s, Home Goods, and TJ Maxx. You have stores like these by you, I imagine. Look for clearance items or do what my daughters do. Go to thrift stores. My eldest picked up a very expensive candle for $1.00, and it had been burnt only once! Happiness for a song!

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Try to enjoy winter wherever you are. Turn on your kind of music, keep the lights low and the candles bright. I’m hanging on to my sweet tea and trying to enjoy this very cold season. My friend with the heater inside her coat would side with my other friend who moved to super sunny California, but I’m here in Cincinnati (actually Kentucky as I write this), to stay. When I walk through my home at night, when the house is quiet, I feel peaceful. Content. And that makes me happy.

 

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Until next time…

 

Christmas, pizza and two cats…

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If you do nothing else this week, bring out one piece of Christmas or winter decoration and display it. And if the ensuing weeks bring you no closer to decorating, that’s okay, because you already did. The wreath went up the second my autumn pumpkins left and even though our calendar still claims it’s November, we know better. It is winter to us. We make it that way, and I like how it feels to own winter, so to speak. I claim it rather than winter dragging me into doldrums and thinking grey thoughts.

And while I try to find my voice, and whether I write about the sad that often accompanies our moments or days of happiness (and if you have a string of days of happiness then please share with me your secrets) I’ll continue to write about the good. I have things going on that do weigh me down, and I am watching other people walk through valleys of sadness and mourning and I can’t help them. I cannot kiss the hurt away, the way I kissed the scrapes and bruises of childhood away. Or thought I did. My kids each suffered bullying and often did not tell me, because what could I do? Make the girl in the group who shared pizza with the whole table except my daughter because she didn’t like her that day, share with her? Because my daughter was the one girl. With no pizza. Could I make that girl be nice? Where is the happiness there? Do I share this real stuff with you?

I think the sad times make the happy ones sweeter. We savor those moments of happiness, don’t we? And we find ways to punctuate the regular days of life with celebrations. Thanksgiving! Christmas! Total solar eclipse!

Let’s celebrate the sunrise. Look at it. (You can do that for me and tell me all about it.) I prefer the sunsets. Always have. The muted colors of evening. And winter has stunning evenings. Hold that cup of whatever warms your heart close to you. Sit outside and watch the sun win the sky over. Just the way I watch the blues chase the orange and pinks away, and I love it. Even with sadness, knowing we made it through another day is something. And you know me, I love my candles. And I light them to ward off the dark and the chill. Figuratively speaking. The lights and scents cheer me up!

And I love Christmas. Always have. And while I make a game out of seeing just how many Christmas trees I can stuff in this house (I am up to six full trees with the real one making it seven, but the real is waiting to be purchased), you might be happily buying gifts or making candies and cookies. I like the thought of cutting down a tree, but so many years I have gone to a lot to pick out a tree, and one year I decided to run out to my grocery store at 6 a.m. and get the pick of their fir trees. I happily chose the right one and even put it in my car. But three days later, after too many needles emptied themselves onto my floor, I took the tree back.

Yup. Took off the ornaments, and ever since my mom brought over a U Haul filled with ornaments and trees, I have too much on my trees. The lights came off too. When the cashier took back my Christmas tree, she couldn’t find it in the system. That’s because I bought it at 6:00 a.m. when I was not properly awake, and I drove off with a tree I had not paid for! Do not buy your Christmas tree at six in the morning, right? Since then, I have paid for my trees. And buying them at the local store makes me sane and happy. No felling a tree in the cold woods for me. I’m too busy trying to figure out what to do with all the trees and ornaments! And I’m so deliriously happy with that.

What I’m trying to say is do what you love this season. You can’t do it all. So do some things really well and let the other stuff go. See the tree right above? Well I forgot I bought it last January and placed it in the wrong room and so late last night I had to switch two trees because my son and his girlfriend were laughing about the pathetically small tree standing sentinel in the front windows! I had a mammoth tree in the dining room. I know. Tree madness. But I love it and if I don’t put up ornaments on some of the trees, I’m happy with that. In January, when I take almost everything down, I’m even happier.

So let’s enjoy each day left to us this year. Try to find moments of peace. Read a snowy book. I read beach books in the summer. And right now I’m only reading books that take place in winter. No great reason, except it feels right to me. Just like we expect pumpkin spice to show up in September, I look for the breezy December books come late November. What do you like? Time to enjoy movies and tv that you normally wouldn’t watch in summer? Do it. Watch all the Christmas movies if you like. Me? I was watching Harry Potter until I sat down to write.

Winter is coming if it’s not already here. Enjoy it! Get your heart ready for Christmas. Sit in the chair with a new pillow. And see that vintage sign? My late mom in law displayed it for the thirty two years I knew her, and with her passing, I inherited her Merry Christmas. I miss her. But I’m lucky enough to have some of her things to treasure. I’m even luckier to have a husband with four sisters and they are all marvelous! Kind and giving.

I know not everyone is as lucky. But be with good people. Be a good person. Don’t be the one who keeps the pizza for herself and the “friends” she chooses on that day. Share as much as you can. That incessant bell ringer at the stores right now? A kind word and a dollar or a quarter is all we need to give. Look at them. Share what you have. Give your kid a U Haul full of love. Though I thought my husband was going to pass out when he saw all the Christmas stuff my mother decided should go to me! My mom shared with me. I love that! She shared what meant a lot to her. I get my love of creating a Christmas forest in my house from her. So yeah, I know you hear it everywhere, but give.

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You might not be a cat person, but I have two cats, and see both of them curled up on top of the Christmas tree? They’re happy. Content. Which is better than happy any day. I didn’t get to put up that tree and they decided to enjoy the tree this way. I pictured them hanging out under one of the other trees but they decided to be good with this. I like that. Make your own kind of happiness.

Christmas is coming. If you can’t get everything done, hang out around the Christmas tree box. Okay, maybe not. But the idea is almost right. Let’s be happy with what we have. Share what we have. No overspending. But please pay for your Christmas tree before you take it home.

Happy end of November sweet friend.