Taking the long way home…

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Do you travel? For fun? I have been going from city to city and while it is meant for fun, I’m finding my heart is back home. In very southern Ohio. Autumn showed her pretty face this past Wednesday, but I took a cursory glance, fluffing up the outdoor autumn pillows as I did, and then stepped out the door for more nights on the road.

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This helps. Copious amounts of tea. Try finding Starbucks on an app while driving (my husband was at the wheel, so this was perfectly legal)! I think ¬†we spent an hour finding places to get more tea, and the 8 hour trip turned into over 9 hours. Crazy? It’s all part of my fun. My way of making a long trip fun. Is that finding beauty on a long day? I think so.

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And my husband made stops to see what other states offered on his bourbon hunt. I didn’t mind one bit, since I had a sweet tea in hand. This is a way to enjoy the experience. And I guess what I’m trying to say is this: enjoy where you are.even if you’re late for your next flight and you have to run. An all out sprint to get to the gate.

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Whether we are at a point in life where we’re tethered to our home, job, kids, a lack of money or are finally traveling after years of going to other fun cities for soccer tournaments (been there), we can choose to make our stage of life pleasant or we can whine and complain a bit. Because all those photos of your friend at the beach, in Europe or in drizzly Seattle slurping hot coffee get to you. You want freedom! To just go somewhere. Restless feet beg to travel.

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And the funny thing is this. After staying home and raising my kids and finally getting to a relatively empty nest, I overbooked my schedule. Three trips in less than ten days? Whoa! Wait up! And what was I thinking? Home looks so good, with my mantle rocking a glimmering orange vibe that I absolutely love. And I’m not there to bake, to have a campfire in Kentucky or to sit in my nook and relax.

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While jogging through another airport (my family is far away, but we’re close…make sense? Yes??) and then wishing for a packet of peanuts on the plane, because I can’t have cookies or gluten and I am not allergic to peanuts…I realized sitting in a comfy seat on a plane and finishing a spell-binding novel was so good. More delicious than a packet of peanuts.

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Today (I got one day at home before I left again)…after singing our way through most of Indiana, I fell into complaining. I’m tired and wanted to be home in my sweats, planing a baby shower!, and planting tulips for next spring. But tomorrow, I’m meeting a lovely friend for lunch and then having a nice family dinner. And I forget how lucky I am. Blessed. I forgot to be happy. I didn’t look for the beauty in today. But I hope you choose to be happy or at least content where you are today. Things change in a heartbeat. We don’t know what’s coming our way next, so let’s enjoy our trip through this crazy, wonderful life we have.

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I miss home a bit, even after I finished complaining. Even though the complaining was in my head. And you know what? I’m here. The hotel room is nice. Good. I have to remember to be fully present while meeting friends, talking to my husband on a too long (ops, complaining again…) trip. Wy? We all have stolen moments that will never come back. Grab your pumpkin spice latte and find something beautiful. Me? I turned on the gas fireplace here. Yes, the room is toasty warm and I’m going to sleep in a bed with the softest pillows. I might dream of home. But I’m grabbing at today. At where I am and being fully present. Can you join me?

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Yes, I miss my cats. But I get only one chance this year to see my football team, and even though one of my kids is stepping through a mini medical issue, I have to “be” here. I hope this rambling post makes sense and that you can sing on your road trip. That you’ll stop for a Coke or a tea and stretch. That you’ll sink into pillows as soft as a cloud, and you’ll smile and count yourself lucky. Better than lucky…count yourself blessed. Have a lovely day. A beautiful evening…

Until next time…

brownies, cookies and two sweet ladies…

Another beautiful September night in my perfectly suburban subdivision life, and I wish you were next to me. The windows are open, of course, and the crickets continue their night’s songs. They won’t be silenced until the first frost, and even then, I’m amazed by the number of crickets who stay warm enough to sing to me until the middle of November. The other night’s noisemakers diminish week-by-week, and I’ll know Thanksgiving draws near when the nights finally become completely silent.

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Finding beauty can be easy some days. Others? If I showed you the tough days, you would see a mountain of laundry, bathrooms that need attention and very old veggies in the fridge because I wanted to cut up that cucumber and place it in a glass pitcher of water, just the way a spa does. But my life intruded, just as yours does. Endless lists and jobs and work and school get in the way too. For me? I have a body that has decided to not feel okay since I noticed something was very wrong in the days before I turned seventeen. Years later (so many years, lol) and my health never returned.

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I tried therapy, eating so many interesting diets that helped with weight loss but not health gains, running, Pilates, not running, going to top name clinics etc. Why do I share this? Because we all have different challenges in life and if we’re going to get through this life somewhat happily, contentedly and with a sense of humor too, we have to find our beauty. Okay, not the kind in the mirror. No. We’re too vain as a society, and selfies kill people each year. Not kidding. Look it up.

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The beauty we’re meant to find is around us. At work, in the fluorescent glow of the lights, can you prop up one picture of your happy place? I have a friend who has never taken a proper vacation, and her dream is to fly to Fiji. Pictures of white beaches and blue waters might make her feel calm. I like to walk in the evenings just as everyone’s homes light up. I used to get decorating ideas for my 1920’s bungalow that way. And now? I enjoy seeing lights on in rooms. Is someone studying up there? Is my neighbor playing his piano while his wife knits? (Oh, I love them so much!) And if your neighborhood doesn’t feel safe, go to a place where you can walk safely and look at beauty.

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Autumn is filled with beauty. The colors of the trees are finally revealed! Pumpkins of all colors surround us. Go drink some fresh apple cider! I look up at the cirrus clouds, so whispy, and I know winter’s grim, grey days aren’t too far away. But wait! We’re on a beauty hunt. So grab some acorns, snip a small branch or two from a maple or an oak tree and bring them home. Make your home, large or small, a place filled with beauty. Your kind of beauty.

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Maybe a thrill runs through you when you finish a quilt. When you have just enough pretty pillows surrounding you. Is it the music floating on the air? The scent of your newborn baby? That’s a treasured scent. Even when you’re going on three hours of sleep. Maybe it’s baking completely from scratch brownies and sharing them with neighbors. Do that! It matters and you’ll make a difference.

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When I was a newlywed and lived in a four apartment building, two kind old sisters lived above me. They didn’t get out much, if at all, and they loved it when I walked upstairs to offer them butterscotch cookies. I certainly didn’t need all of those calories staring back at me, and they didn’t seem to have much fresh food, so I baked. For them and for me. I love baking. Adore it. And now I have no flight of stairs to walk up and no one to share my pumpkin bread. Wherever you in life, try to treasure it…

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You have gifts to share. Do that! Give away your time, your love, your cakes, your ability to read well, sing, to listen to someone’s story. That’s beauty. The Sephora stuff we buy to look beautiful can’t cover up a sour person. Someone with true happiness spilling over is lovely! Why do we like looking at brides so much? Because they glimmer, gleam and beam. They shine with love, and we all enjoy it. Go for that beauty today. The kind inside you, that no one can ever take away. Even if you’re sick. Dying. Divorcing. Even then…

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You are beautiful. Make a small space in your room beautiful too. Light a candle. Drink some soothing tea…or go to Starbucks (I love the happy baristas there, seriously!). Bring pretty pictures to your space. Books, incense, jewelry. Make it yours. Make it pretty. And enjoy being you for a little bit tonight. Until next time…

IMG_E7203(I’m slowly switching out summer’s flowers, but look! The rosemary survives…)

 

 

lonely or beautifully alone…

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Last night when I went to bed, the crickets and cicadas sang so loudly, and the heat at eleven o’clock felt so intense that I thought summer would never leave. But today’s rain with temps that are thirty degrees cooler and tonight’s much quieter chorus of insects, has me believing autumn officially arrived. I feel a bit lonely at the thought. Do you? So many of us embrace sweater weather, with football games, ¬†pumpkin spice everything, flannel sheets, cozy blankets, woodsmoke curling out the chimney and chili with cornbread suppers that we’re utterly happy.

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It usually takes me a week to wrap my head around autumn. To me, it means more time alone since my husband hunts. But over time, I’ve learned how to be by myself and am happily alone. Most of the days. I wonder what people did before phones, radios, t.v.’s, and cars? Can you imagine the days of being alone on a farm or in the country? Even cities can be unfriendly. Were people more content back then?

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Do you find contentment in being alone? And what do we do with those days and nights and weeks where we feel lonely? Posting on Facebook, saying, “I’m lonely, will you please be my actual friend and do something with me?” comes across as too needy. Though I wish we could be that plain some days. I think that’s why we have to cultivate different friendships at the same time, depending upon how many friends we can seriously handle at once. Acquaintances are great, too, because we can meet them for a pumpkin spice latte and that’s enough. On some days.

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I admire the people who dine alone and don’t bring a book along for company. How do we get to the point where we are comfortable being with us? Alone? Just you and your thoughts. No phone, no social media and no Netflix. I think music is allowed in the happily-alone universe.

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I know someone who sits by a fire pit in his backyard on autumn nights by himself. And he’s happy. My dad can walk into a bar alone and either talk to a stranger or remain quiet and he’s happy. I have a friend who goes to a new movie every Friday night, with popcorn and a box of candy as her only companions and she’s happy. So what’s the secret? Not being afraid of being alone, I think. Being content with you and your thoughts. Confidence helps.

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This season, why don’t we try doing something by ourselves? Get to know you and like that person. Walk, pedal or drive alone down back roads and think. Try sticking your toe into the pool of introvertedness. Yes, I just made that word up. I believe most of us would feel happier in any season when we embrace us. Like yourself. My husband says that he made friends easily when he was going through times in his life where he felt confident and happy being alone, spending hours engrossed in drawing. When he felt desperately alone, it seemed as though friends were few and far between. The difference? Him. How he felt about himself. Be alone and soon people might join you.

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When we learn who we are, our gifts and talents, and are content with our direction in life, even though it might not be easy, we become beautifully alone. We can contribute to this world. Hey, there’s seven billion people outside our door. That’s a lot of distraction, if we let it happen. So don’t. I’m saying we need to be alone somedays. Learn lonely and you’ll have a new skill. Sure, you can do ten things before tomorrow night, but if you spend some time journaling or something with just you, then you are more… Beautiful. Appealing. Wonderful. This autumn make dates with you.

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By the way, how do you like my first hints of autumn decor in my Ohio home? Tomorrow, I’m going full-on-crazy autumn home with orange, crimson, bits of yellow and browns. I have to go now…my sweet iced tea is turning to just tea. Enjoy your pumpkin spice! Until next time…

deanna